Daring enough?..

So we live in a patriarchal society. No, a male dominated world actually. But nothing’s new about that.

We women, exist, free-spirited and unfazed, trying to subvert the patriarchal paradigm.

Yeah, that’s a utopian statement. So you better not  attempt to dissect its verisimilitude.

But then again,  despite all our worldly struggles, we’re always the one to be on the ’’receiving end’’. Receive what, you may ask?

Well let’s talk  about the typical Bengali psyche. Sure, we’re amazingly resilient, flexible and adaptive. We have quite a reputation for being tremendously hardworking and hospitable, and fiercely emotional, in a good and a bad way. We revel in our nationalism and patriotism runs in our blood.

Now let’s look at the other side of the coin shall we?

See, our respectable Bengali ‘’bhaiyas’’(brothers) and ‘’ mamas’’( maternal uncles) and ‘’chachas’’( paternal uncles) like to acknowledge womanhood, so much so that they need to ogle and gape at their female counterparts. Those of you who travel by public transport, maneuver in and out of the bustling streets and are ‘’accidentally’’ bumped into, know what exactly where Im heading. Don’t gasp or frown. Its reality and you have to face it.

So how do we counteract the ‘’fleeting’’ gazes or ‘’cursory glances’’ or the 360 degree rotation of heads  whenever a woman is nearby? How to put a stop to the sudden escalation in the volume of ‘’ my name is sheila’’ and ‘’ munni badnam’’ when you walk past a tea stall?

A list of five possible tips. But implement them at your own risk anyway.

1.       When you’re seated in a public transport, lets say one of those ramshackled intercity  ‘’murir tins’’ , and you feel the awkward eyes boring into you, why not start a staring competition? Something like ‘’the one who blinks first loses’’. Stare straight into his eyes, and keep staring continuously, unblinking. If he’s not ashamed and accepts defeat first, well maybe you’re  just unfortunate enough to have to tolerate such a creep.

2.       You’ve seen heath ledger’s manic grin as ‘’ the Joker’’ right? Try practicing it in front of the mirror the night before you head out to work or class. It might just come in handy when you walk past that ‘’mudi dokan’’(small kiosks) or ‘’ biriyani house’’ in your neighborhood. The waiter and manager will never dare to throw you ‘’the dirty look’ again’.

3.       V for vendetta. What has that got to do with this? Everything, according to me.  Harassed by the male colleague who has nothing better to do than to peep into your cubicle every minute or so? First peep, and give him that murderous look you see the mother in law’s  giving to their’’ bahus’’  in every hindi serial. Mute the sounds of thunder and lightning, and you’re good to go. I would suggest watching an episode or two of Kokila and Gopi bahu( whatever the name of the  soap opera) to master the art of ‘’looks that kill’’.

4.       Now if you’re out shopping with your friend or just roaming around the mall, you might just as well attract the unwanted attention of the salesmen around. Solution?  Point at them and giggle and laugh like crazy, like you’re watching a comedy movie. They’’ll just be freaked out. Also applicable for the ‘’salman khan’’ wannabe of your area, mounted on that motorbike and donning outrageous shades and skin tight clothes.

5.       The last one will take a lot of guts, but if you can pull it off with the right kind  of demeanor, you’ll hit the bull’s eye. Approach the gaping gigolo  at the bus station or streets or underpasses and ask ludicrous questions like’’ bhai genji ta kotha theke kinsen? Amake diben?( Brother where did you buy your shirt from, Can I have it?'')’’ or ‘’ bhaiya apnar pant ta kintu sheiiii, ami chai’’( your pants are very fashionable, could you lend them to me?''). Sure, they all sound perverted but the best way to deal with  such species is to treat them the way they treat us.  But this tactic is not  very advisable  if you have hordes of people around you. Might as well save yourself the embarrassment.

  Yes, it is a natural human inclination to appreciate beauty and beautiful things, but that doesn’t give men unimpeachable authorization to  rape a woman with their eyes.  Its okay to for your mouth to water when you see the latest Nike mercurials, akin to our expression on seeing a gorgeous pair of Jimmy Choo’s or Louboutins.  Or a bag of cheetos since we’re not on a diet 24/7.

But neither are we shoes nor are we food . remember?

There you go. Five magic techniques to get you through the day to day trials of being a woman.   But it doesn’t guarantee you the anticipated remedy, mind it. I haven’t given them a shot.

But there’s always a first  time to everything..;)