Breakdowns..

Sometimes when I look at my reflection in the mirror,  I cannot  help but  wonder  how on earth have I managed to grow up as  such. From the miniscule, itsy bitsy, teeny tiny hands and feet, with an endearing vulnerability to a fully grown,feisty adult - the  transition was magnanimous, and yet so inconspicuous.  It's nothing like waking up one fine morning and discovering that you're physiognomy mysteriously augmented  overnight, but  a gradual and almost undetectable change. It's strange as well as fascinating how once awkward,  gangly teenagers suddenly metamorphose to beautiful belles and    outrageously looking charmers, and see how all those acne outbreaks and pimple horrors just stop recurring one day. The terrifying years of  puberty doesn't haunt you any more, as you grin covertly after  reminiscing those days of i-am-neither-adult-nor-child imbroglios. Yes , life was indeed a roller coaster ride, you secretly admit.  The childhood crushes and fancies are a million lightyears away, the teenage obsessions and infatuations have somehow managed to obliterate themselves and voila. You're not the same person anymore. Now it's absurd to point at random people and burst into peels of boisterous laughter, incongruous to attempt to imprint the whole history book in your exhausted memory the night before an exam and absolutely  tactless to delude oneself into believing that the world is a wish granting factory. You can paint colorful dreams, but expecting all of them to come to life, would be highly asinine.
 We learn to construct various facades as we grow up, trying to hide those idiosyncrasies and eccentricities under a veil of stereotypes. We are afraid to speak our minds, to voice our thoughts and vacillating on whether to be straightforward or juts take the leeway of "neutrality". We forget that happiness is being yourself in a world which is constantly trying to change us . Our tongue doesn't give a taste of our hearts, but our calculative  minds. We disintegrate ourselves into countless characters, one for each of our loved ones.
 For once, for a second,  for a minute..
 Can't we be whole? And not broken? ..