It's strange how supposed 'celebrities' can give birth to almost anything and everything contentiousness and controversial. The moment one consensually becomes a public figure, his/her actions,opinions and choices is suddenly an issue of utmost importance, enough to create ripples in social and electronic media. However what is more perplexing is how their often distorted views can manipulate and even incite the masses. Their portrayal of reality, of what must be considered as ideal or essentially right, or how the society must function - isn't necessarily always right. Every human being, irrespective of cast, creed, race and religion has the dignity to express themselves freely, as per the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. However when such a freedom of expression becomes hegemonic rather than a question of preference, it certainly can no longer be considered as simply 'the liberty to speak'. Influence is an unconscious bondage by which we are inadvertently enslaved. Especially when a certain individual or entity is aware of the recognition and limelight that he/she receives, responsibility is an additional burden one is liable to carry. Acting, speaking, behaving responsibly is crucial, because unfortunately, people don't think twice before imitating or emulating them, forgetting that 'stardom' doesn't necessarily make these people any less flawed or any more perfect.
A recent short film that went unmistakably viral on Youtube and other synonymous social networking sites, starring a famous Bollywood celeb compels me today to clarify certain things for my sake, and I must say I had to devote a lot of time on pondering over how I should set my priorities straight. It was plainly out of sheer curiosity that I watched it, and although I am guilty of a somewhat prolonged and delayed reaction to this ( note that the video was released almost 2 months back), nevertheless I am still reeling from the shock of its sheer blatancy. The almost 3 minute documentary shook me to the core, utterly and completely.
The video titled My Choice' depicts 98 women ( including that actress) along with background narration by her. One of the alarming and indelibly puzzling line from the narration could be quoted as
' My choice-to have sex outside marriage, within marriage or without'
It doesn't matter what religion you follow, or whether you're a theist or atheist. Adultery, fornication and infidelity are acts of immorality, indisputably and undeniably. Those who say that the concept of 'morality' or 'ethics' itself is subjective, are deluding themselves. The aforementioned statement degrades values like trust and commitment, and openly ridicules the sanctity of matrimony. It is not a question of choice, whether or not a woman wants to indulge in sexual exploits, but whether she wants to label herself as 'promiscuous'. If every mother was to follow such a 'liberating' lifestyle as per the actresses' words, what kind of example is she setting for her daughter or her grandchildren? That it is 'okay' to be unchaste and immodest, that she can share a physical relationship with just any libidinous man who wants to lay her? That she need not be faithful to her husband, and do whatever pleases her?
If that is so, does a woman have the right to chastise her partner embroiled in extramarital affairs? Men and woman should be treated equally right? So why the discrimination ? It's HIS choice isn't it?
If you choose to to treat your body as a 'consumable' or ' disposable' commodity, if you choose to objectify yourself, if you choose to wear skimpy and explicit clothing, just for the sake of social acceptance or appreciation , then I'd say you should 'un'choose the desire to be treated with respect. Learn to respect yourself, your body , your sexuality before commanding it from others. A woman dressed modestly is like a pearl in a shell? Do you know why?
Because all valuable, and precious things deserve to be protected and guarded fiercely.
Your body has not been created for public display, neither exposure. True value of beauty lies in its mystery, its aura. Once you flaunt it, it's no longer priceless. Because you've just paid a price for it.
'' And tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. Because that is purer for them..''- An Nur ( 30-31).
Islam calls for a man to treat a woman with the highest possible degree of honor and respect, and cast away their glances, when faced with temptation. So before you start to argue over how Islam is 'biased' or 'prejudiced' and enforces draconian rules on women, know that it puts the onus on a man, and not a woman. An ogling man is the one at fault, regardless of whether the woman is wearing a dupatta or not.
But isn't it your responsibility too? If you want that man to look at you with eyes of respect and not lust,that is your choice.
Your choice to educate yourself, to empower yourself, to walk with your head held high, to compete with your male counterparts for excellence and recognition. Your choice to set benchmarks, to fight the stereotypes of complexion, weight and size. Beauty begins with you. You dont need anyone else to tell you that.
And that is MY CHOICE..
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