MIght ?..

You know it isn't a surprise when you wake up after a long afternoon nap ( ignore the contradiction of  a 'long' nap, because mine almost always are ) thoroughly disconcerted and desolate. If you happen to be 'fortunate' enough to belong to a nuclear family, and at the same  be 'blessed' with working parents, you'll perhaps be very well acquainted with such a phenomena, and I daresay such prolonged hours of solitude are likely to be depressing and mundane. Staying enclosed in the wee hours of daylight, and looking at pictures of people  on your social networking site thoroughly enjoying their holidays at exotic locations is not at all pleasing to the eye and  the friend who so ostentatiously posted a photo of himself  herself paragliding,  bungee jumping , snorkeling or simply having a great time is bound to invoke pangs of envy and longing, if not aggravate your resentment. Wondering why you aren't out there globe trotting or conquering the world and contemplating repeatedly over your mysterious  anti-social behavior will simply exacerbate the feeling of dejection, coupled with the resigned realization that you are indeed, not equipped with the skills of a socialite, and might as well watch the rest of your life waste away while your peers move on to bigger and better dreams. Or so you may think.
Part with your bed or beloved couch for a while and get dressed. Take a walk down the street. A few strides forward, and you'll see the shanty on the pavement, with a huge plastic sheet or scraps of polythene congealed to form a 'roof' . Two children wearing  extremely dirty shabby, patched clothes are playing with rocks afar, and if you wait and watch you might just detect the glee in their faces as their mother beckons them for lunch-a concoction of rice and lentils. The little faces brighten with anticipation. Today is a special day, because for once, their meal doesn't comprise of plain rice, with nothing to accompany it.
Now if your legs may permit, trudge a little further and you encounter the busy traffic on the main road. Amidst the barrage of cars and buses speeding away, you see blurry outline of a policeman stationed right there, and just as you are about to turn away, your eyes might just come across the dark, murky waters almost submerging his knees. You remember it's monsoon and thanks to the amazing sewerage system  the roads  are converted to channels and Venetian canals . But of course you wouldn't know how it feels to be wading the contaminated waters for hours at a stretch do you ?
Oh it just started to rain. As you run in the opposite direction, towards home, you might just see a rickshaw puller pedaling away furiously, as the downpour drenches him from head to toe. There's a passenger too, seated behind.
You might see. Or you might not.

Detachment.

It is to you that I write. Cry, complain, rant. To you that I come back when the cruel hands of reality push me away, when I am thrust to the uncanny harshness of this world. My heart seeks comfort in you when my dreams are shattered and my wings are clipped. When love abandons me, and all I am left with are vestiges of a choking solitude , I crawl back to you..The disturbing chaos renders me perplexed as I walk away, tracing back my steps towards you.
I keep crossing oceans for people who wouldn't jump across a puddle for me..yet I repeat history, unrelenting and unnerved. Because you have taught me to give, without expectations and recompense..it is why I beget none, and nor am I begotten. You have taught me not to regret and procrastinate, for I cannot turn time around. I have learned, that to see stars we need darkness..
I shall despise you for a moment and then love you back with all the bits and pieces.
It is I, the serene waves and I, the violent waters..You either have both,
or none at all...and whoever you are, wherever you may be, if I am a necessity and not an option, a privilege and not just a disposable means of dependance, I promise you nothing but compassion. Nothing but love. 
Sometimes we make mistakes in choosing people. People whom we grant unheralded rights, unrestricted influence.We give them more than they deserve, in overwhelming quantities and without careful consideration. But it is these very people who turn our backs to us when we need them the most, when we expect a shoulder, a hug or words of comfort. Their pronounced ignorance will bewilder you, and break you from inside. But whenever such things happen, whom do we turn to?
Our exalted Lord. Who sustains and who cherishes. 
Detachment doesn't mean that you own anything, but nothing owns you...
Lower your expectations from people. They are flawed and so are you.
Detach yourself, and ease will come naturally..

Only then..

What is it that you see beyond that which I have not seen?
A sea of turmoil, or an apocalyptic torrent ?
Or maybe a typhoon which ceases to subside..
An blizzard in the frozen tundra, a sandstorm amidst that Sahara..
I see, I feel and I witness..destruction in the making..
I seek peace in devastation, silence in chaos, serenity in pandemonium..
I find flamboyance in simplicity..boldness in banality..and healing in pain..
 While you are enslaved  by facades , pretenses and masks..
I observe what lies beneath veils of falsehood and artifice..
When you are entranced by beauty that is temporary..
I look for grace more long lasting, infinite..
Indeed our eyes see the same..but our minds portray differently.

Not vanity and splendor, not in superfluousness and extravagance..
But in moderation and austerity that I solicit comfort..
Solace is what I seek and not your pity..
And have mercy if you may, when I come to you..
For I have for once, lost my most precious..
Return it if you will please, for I will no longer beg..
Finders are keepers are they not?
Because I have left the whispers of my heart unheard..
You may listen and decipher them as you wish..
Yet I must plead , that you will give it back..
And whatever was mine, shall be mine again..
Only then you will see beyond that which I have not seen..

Unfinished

Complicated. A very simple, lucid way to describe something you cannot fathom. Or maybe something that you don't want to understand. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. A famous author once postulated-'' The happiest person in this universe is the one who chooses to remain in the dark ''. Being enlightened about what makes this world around you tick, doesn't help ultimately. Disappointment awaits your discovery, and in extreme cases you might just lose interest in living when you finally realize that everything is unfair. Unjustified. Illogical. Because the world is not a wish granting factory o naive soul. It's a wasteland of lost dreams and illusions. 
We often wonder why things happen the way they happen. We wish we could undo, rewind a lot of regrettable incidents, hasty decisions and acts of imprudence. But what we forget is that each and every experience that we encounter, from the most insignificant, inconsequential ones to the most dramatic turning points, has a purpose. Questioning something premeditated is almost like asking why the sky is not pink instead of azure. If something was fated to happen it will, no matter how impossible or improbable it might seem. You may be the world's biggest dominating tyrant, but when it comes to fate, you might as well discard the i-shall-dictate-everything avatar, because one can never control the unforeseen. Nor predict it.  So the countless  times you've  felt  empty and dejected  for not being  able to make it, do it, finish  it or accomplish  it, know that not every story needs to have an ending...Some are better  off without  one...

Welcome..

They lay on the olive green blades of grass, undulating in the spring breeze caressing the lush green meadow. The air was intoxicated by the diffusing fragrance of gladiolas, lilies and a handful of other floras, and a flock of canaries chirruped on a nearby mahogany. Their interlocked fingers separated for a split second, as he disentangled a golden brown leaf from her dark black tresses. Brushing the dead leaf away, he glanced at her. She was grinning furtively, as if amused by some secret joke. He asked, intrigued ,'' You look highly entertained'', he inquired with a half puzzled, half curious expression.
She tucked few of her rebellious strands behind her ears, as her lips curled up in an even more mysterious smile, 'I won't tell, obviously'', and winked, mischievously.
Undeterred he pressed on, 'you know you shouldn't be keeping secrets from your other half. It's a crime', he smirked, his eyebrows arched in an ersatz indignation.
She giggled and her charcoal eyes danced playfully, ' Oh I'm going to believe that am I?. Tsk, Tsk, not convincing enough .''
He sighed, simulating disappointment, ''Well I'll just have to accomplish it the hard way then.,' and grabbed her around the waist.
She burst into peels of laughter. Squealing at the top of her lungs, she tried to struggle free, in vain albeit, as his strong, sinewy wrists  had found that one  vulnerable point on her pelvis. Guffawing boisterously, she finally succumbed to his 'harassment'. ''okay fine I'll tell you''.
He stopped abruptly, and imitated a posture of rapt attentiveness, ' Yes,go on'', not taking his eyes off her breathtaking visage.
'I was actually thinking ummm..,' she fumbled with words, as her face turned deep crimson, in embarrassment. ''You know,'' she stammered ,'' kids''.. she finished her sentence with great difficulty, and stole a brief glance at his face.
It was not bewilderment, not shock. Not amusement, not disbelief.
All she saw were a pair of eyes radiating warmth and affection. Unconditional and unbounded..
 The sky was was a bright, delinquent orange, and red..as twilight approached like a fugitive..
While two hearts shared an enchanting silence..
She woke up with a start. It was over.
Welcome chaos. 

MY CHOICE ? ..Really? ..

It's strange how supposed 'celebrities' can give birth to almost anything and everything contentiousness and controversial. The moment one consensually becomes a public figure, his/her actions,opinions and choices is suddenly an issue of utmost importance, enough to create ripples in social and electronic media. However what is more perplexing is how their often distorted views can manipulate and even incite the masses. Their portrayal of reality, of what must be considered as ideal or essentially right, or how the society must function - isn't necessarily always right. Every human being, irrespective of cast, creed, race and religion has the dignity to express themselves freely, as per the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. However when such a  freedom of expression becomes hegemonic rather than a question of preference, it certainly can no longer be considered as simply 'the liberty to speak'. Influence is an  unconscious bondage by which we are inadvertently enslaved. Especially when a certain individual or entity is aware of the recognition and limelight that he/she receives, responsibility is an additional burden one is liable to carry. Acting, speaking, behaving responsibly is crucial, because unfortunately, people don't think twice before imitating or emulating them, forgetting that 'stardom' doesn't necessarily make these people any less flawed or any more perfect.
A recent short film that went unmistakably viral on Youtube and other synonymous social networking sites, starring a famous Bollywood celeb compels me today to clarify certain things for my sake, and I must say I had to devote a lot of time on pondering over how I should set my priorities straight. It was plainly out of sheer curiosity that I watched it, and although I am guilty of a somewhat prolonged and delayed reaction to this ( note that the video was released almost 2 months back), nevertheless I am still reeling from the shock of its sheer blatancy. The almost 3 minute documentary shook me to the core, utterly and completely.
The video titled  My Choice' depicts 98 women (  including that actress) along with  background narration by her. One of the alarming and indelibly puzzling line from the narration could be quoted as
' My choice-to have sex outside marriage, within marriage or without'
It doesn't matter what religion you follow, or whether you're a theist or atheist. Adultery, fornication and infidelity are acts of immorality, indisputably and undeniably. Those who say that the concept of 'morality' or 'ethics' itself is subjective, are deluding themselves. The aforementioned statement degrades values like trust and commitment, and openly ridicules the sanctity of matrimony. It is not a question of choice, whether or not a woman wants to indulge in sexual exploits, but whether she wants to label herself as 'promiscuous'. If every mother was to follow such a 'liberating' lifestyle as per the actresses' words, what kind of example is she setting for her daughter or her grandchildren? That it is 'okay' to be unchaste and immodest, that she can share a physical relationship with just any libidinous man who wants to lay her? That she need not be faithful to her husband, and do whatever pleases her?
If that is so, does a woman have the right to chastise her partner embroiled in extramarital affairs? Men and woman should be treated equally right? So why the discrimination ? It's HIS choice isn't it?
If you choose to to treat your body as a 'consumable' or ' disposable' commodity, if you choose to objectify yourself, if you choose to wear skimpy and explicit clothing, just for the sake of  social acceptance or appreciation , then I'd say you should 'un'choose the desire to be treated with respect. Learn to respect yourself, your body , your sexuality before commanding it from others. A woman dressed modestly is like a pearl in a shell? Do you know why?
Because all valuable, and precious things deserve to be protected and guarded fiercely.
Your body has not been created for public display, neither exposure. True value of beauty lies in its mystery, its aura. Once you flaunt it, it's no longer priceless. Because you've just paid a price for it.
'' And tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. Because that is purer for them..''- An Nur ( 30-31).
Islam calls for a man to treat a woman with the highest possible degree of honor and respect, and cast away their glances, when faced with temptation. So before you start to argue over how Islam is 'biased' or 'prejudiced' and enforces draconian rules on women, know that it puts the onus on a man, and not a woman. An ogling man is the one at fault, regardless of whether the woman is wearing a dupatta or not.
But isn't it your responsibility too?  If you want that man to look at you with eyes of respect and not lust,that is your choice.
Your choice to educate yourself, to empower yourself, to walk with your head held high, to compete with your male counterparts for excellence and recognition. Your choice to set benchmarks, to fight the stereotypes of  complexion, weight and size. Beauty begins with you. You dont need anyone else to tell you that.
And that is MY CHOICE..

Misguided Emotions..

Is it okay to cry when you cannot even comprehend the reason behind those big fat tears?..
Is it okay to be blatantly ignorant of reality even when it's knocking at your door?..
Is it alright if you're frightened and apprehensive for nothing?..Is it okay to fear the unseen, the unpredictable?..
Is it okay to be regretful even if it was never your fault? To feel burdened with an elephantine guilt?..
To crave for a cup of coffee that will never be yours?  To desire the unguarded, uninhibited...
To defy, to destroy..to rebuild, to reconcile?..To love to, despise..to repel..to ensnare?..
Human beings are one of the most complex organisms that tread this earth..
 And I've learned it the hard way..